Trying to catch up!  I think I finally “tanked” in terms of energy and motivation earlier this week.  The way it feels is that I had some residual kind of “stress” energy left from working all that time, which I carried with me for a couple of months of retirement, then, all of a sudden, I ran out of everything.  Since I am usually so motivated to get things done, the feeling was like one of something between defeatism and despair, and not quite yet to desperation.  But for once, I just let it be for a couple of days, reading and watching a favorite movie, instead of dashing around “doing” things.  And by yesterday (Wednesday), I was back on track, but in a much freer way, finally embracing the fact that I don’t have to be accomplishing something in order to be an okay person.  Whew–glad that’s out of the way!

I didn’t go to my art class yesterday.  I had no ideas for anything new to start on, am tired of the interminable, repetitive work on my poinsettia drawing, and, since I am retired, I granted myself permission not to do something I really didn’t feel like doing.  It was great.  I plan to go back next week, maybe.

I’ve taken the dogs out on several long walks, and have actually gotten two of my strength training routines done over the past 3 days.  I find I am so out of shape that even the modest number of reps and the low weight routines are kicking my butt, but it feels good to be moving again in an organized way, and challenging myself to be stronger.  I want to have some muscle tone in place for riding season, which is only a month or so away for me–some people ride all year in our area, but not me–I’m a fair weather rider for sure.

On my walk with the dogs yesterday afternoon (Wednesday), I heard a flock of birds all chirping–really kind of “squeeching”–in the trees in the upper corner of the northwest pasture, and thought they were cowbirds, which are kind of nuisance birds, but this morning, I saw a bunch of them on the ground under our bird feeder, identifiable because they were making the same sound and I could see the yellow bands at the tops of their wings, and I believe they are actually red-winged blackbirds, which is nice.  I have always liked seeing them around–I used to see them in a low-lying field along 250 where there were a lot of cattails, then I didn’t see any for years, and I was afraid they were all gone.  So I guess there’s a sizable population of them here.


I’ve begun checking things off my little list of things to do, such as cleaning off my old drawing board (yesterday afternoon), and this morning, a *huge* (to me) thing, which was to find the box, stored in the chicken coop, containing my Angela Thirkell books.  Stephen found it this morning, and they are now all arranged in order on the middle shelf of my one bookcase in the whole house, which I really need for other things, but they take precedence!

We have also made a plan for a way to create a tiny studio space for me upstairs in the extra bedroom.  Maybe not today, but soon!